Mediation, Divorce and Separation Advice

Archive for the ‘family mediation’ Category

Living with wife and our son. She will not allow me to take him to my mom or vice versa or put him on the phone to talk to my mom. Thank you!

You can try but unless she is willing to relent it won’t accomplish anything. You need to go to court and get a court order establishing your custodial rights. You mother could also go to court to get an order establishing her grandparenting rights. The court could refuse if your wife can prove it would be harmful to your child.

Divorce Guru – http://www.divorce-guru.com/
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Came across this wonderful article from a New Jersey Divorce Mediator:
In today’s Wall Street Journal, there was an article about the fight over revealing divorce details and the potential damage it could do to the individuals involved and their children.  The author’s point was that it was difficult to tell where the first amendment and [...]
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We all make blunders occasionally we make these blunders in our significant life partner selection. To deal with such blundered choices to freedom and getting freedom from the tensions of them at the earliest stage is an urgent job that uou must attend to by adopting necessary process. Separation or divorce is one such unpleasant [...]
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by:  Lee Rosen
Here’s a simple test to determine if your mediator knows how to mediate. It involves one question. Answer the question, score your test and if your mediator stinks then find a new mediator.
What time did the mediation end?
Note – this test only applies if the mediation started before lunch. If it started after [...]
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You can refuse…. but it will hurt your case.

I cut all contact with my family several years ago, due to ongoing mental abuse, harassment and bullying from them. I tried so hard to build our relationship, but all they were bothered about was intimidating me, and controlling me. The police were involved, and after that i endured 2 years of their continuous harassment, and became a recluse because of their behaviour. My parents have alcohol problems, which fuelled what happened, but they are in denial about it.

My husband and I have talked long and hard, and want to try to reconcile: it’s been many years now, and they may have changed: it is fair to give them that one chance.

We aren’t sure how to approach it. Anyone with experience: is family mediation/counselling any good? We had it when the problems started, and the mediator just took my parents side, and we did not discuss any of the problems, or the things they were putting me through – my parents just used it as an opportunity to bully me into doing what they said, and the mediator just took their side. We will use a different mediator this time, and a more professional one, but is it a good idea?

Thanks

Hey,

Firstly, let me just say this is just my opinion on my experience with family counselling.

I’m 18 and was removed from my biological parents at the age of 7 because they were abusive physically and emotionally. I spent 8 years in the child care system denying the abuse still being brainwashed by my mothers propaganda before realising, aged 15 that actually both my parents were complete sociopaths. Then I was left with a decision between been thrown out of care into my own flat or going back to my mother, which to me, my mother and the mental torture seemed to be the lesser of two evils. When I returned to her. Myself, her and my brother attended family counselling because having spent 8 years apart and from the childhood abuse and the current mind warfare going on the dynamics in the house for me was unbearable. Like you, I didn’t find the counsellor to be much help at all in that situation because my mother and brother had already formed and alliance against me any way which had start from me being a small child. I was made to look like the one causing the problem and because there was two of them and one of me (who incidentally was also the only under 16 in the room).

I left my biological mothers and have since been adopted. If you can find a good regular counsellor then to discuss any issues/feeling you have from what happened then that’s what I’d suggest. Even if you don’t feel like you need a counsellor. You don’t need to be crazy or emotionally unstable to speak to a counsellor, sometimes it just helps to talk to someone totally unconnected and who is bound by confidentiality.

Hope this helps, but again it’s just my opinion.

what is it like, good experience and have you gone on to have a better relationship with clear boundaries?
Im a proper mediation centre with toys about a newborn (which my ex has no experience off)

My ex is abusive to it’s that or nothing!

I
sorry what i mean’t to say is these are mediation centres with trained staff and counciling.

Im pregnant and the baby is nearly here, he will have to see the baby like this or no other way as his family are not talking to him and neither are mine, because he is abusive and a bully. A simple hello and goodbye will be twisted and reduce me to tears.

well 1st of all i’m sorry to hear this i have a smilar prob! if it was me again i wouldnt put his name on the birth certificate as this gives him legal rights! and when the baby is first born i dont think its a good idea to be taking your baby to a contact centre get to know your baby first and bring it up the best you can on ya own its stressful for children to go to these centre i know thro experiance and also know that a tiny baby needs its mummy and needs to settle into the world before going to a contact centre! this was told to me by CAB and i agree!

very best of look take care

Video of Family Mediation

Duration : 0:0:58

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Family mediation wrote four letters to him asking him to see our daughter – they even offered a drop off point so we didn’t have any contact – he responded to them saying it was in the hands of his solicitors but 18 months later I still haven’t heard anything. He tells people that I’ve stopped him seeing his daughter and that I’ve poisoned her mind (hello she’s only 4 and this would hurt her not him). What’s a girl to do?

I have been there too.Do not let it eat you up.My sons dad did that.Then later he wanted to come back into the picture.He is 18 now and he knows who was there for him and who was not.Good luck!