Mediation, Divorce and Separation Advice

Archive for the ‘marriage mediation’ Category

My husband’s ex attacked me a couple weeks ago and left marks on my neck. I filed assault charges and a restraing order against her. The temporary restraingg order was granted and when we went to get to permanent he sent us to mediation because their are his kids involved from thier marriage. We have an 8 month old son that she has threated and was at the scene when she attacked me and I will do anything to protect my son. I was just wondering if anyone has had to go through mediation through the courts and what do they do when you are in one. Thank you for your help!

I have been through mediation, not for this though. Basically you and her need to work out some sort of agreement to ensure she doesn’t do anything to hurt you or your loved ones. You need to make sure she gets counseling for her issues and that some sort of period of time she is on some sort of probation until she can prove that she will not do what she did again!

Good Luck

Agreement House brings attorneys, mediators and document preparers together to process divorce cases costing less in time, money and stress compared to litigation or Do-it-yourself procedures
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How to Say No to Divorce – Go For Divorce Mediation
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Remarriage after Divorce? When it comes to starting a new life, with new dreams and hopes, should statistics and research really matter?
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Samples of two articles on the 10 dumb things men AND women do when getting a divorce.
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my husband and i prefer a mediation rather than going through attorneys and the courts. this is because i cannot afford an attorney but he can. he asked me to quit my job when we got married but after a year resented being the only one making the money. now we are divorcing and i would like to know what a fair settlement is in your opinions. we have a house in california that he bought six months before we married. please help me to gauge what is fair.

You should ask for enough to live comfortably until you can find a job and get back to work.
Maybe about $5,000 a month since i know things are quite a bit more expensive in Cali.
Plus it’s just a little less then half of what he is bringing in.
You should make a clause where the support ends as soon as you become financially able to support yourself.
Believe me no matter how bitter you are this will make you feel the best in the end. You will be free from him and able to move on; on your own two feet. Confidence rebuilding is important.

We have decided to get divorced after 15 yrs. We have two children; 10 and 13. we can not use the dissolution process because we can not agree on everything. will Mediation work for us? What process do we take with the isssues after mediation that we do not agree on?
Both of us have attorneys. I have spent over $2,000 so far and have gotten no where. We have been sending counter proposals back and forth and are no further ahead.

hmm? did he cheat on you? if he did not cheat on you.Surprise pray to good for everything to be fixed .DONT DIVORCE>YOU ARE CRAZY 15 years together and kids in those ages.THINK PUT down your pride dont divorce back upppp.But if he cheated and that is why you are divorcing then go ahead.good luck

Has anyone ever gone to mediation and then worked out their marriage? I know this sounds crazy but my husband and I still want our marriage to work. I don’t want to go to mediation but for whatever reason, we still are. I want him to come back home. He left my son and I a few months ago…just didn’t feel like being married anymore. But now he says he wants the marriage to work and that he loves me. I love him and I want this too. That’s why I don’t understand why we’re still doing to mediation. It’s on Tuesday. He says if we get things temporarily worked out with our son then we can work on "us". Has this happened with anyone else? Or am I being stuping? I believe in standing up for your marriage, what do you think?

Also, what do you wear to mediation?
There’s no way around it…he wants to go to mediation. We tried about a month ago to go to counseling and he said we’d go back after we worked it out in mediation with our son…

instead of mediation go to therapy while living apart…this will help you both come to a solid decision…if you do go to mediation there is no dress code…it’s only an office visit

well then I would suggest going–he obviously wants to. But be prepared–he might want a divorce….just prepare yourself

relate to your partner don’t let your children witness continual arguments – this is a form of child abuse- cure your relationship with the help of counselor harries Counsellor Harries Relate to partner solve marriage problems heal relationship partnership problems divorce mediation avoid broken hearthas been a relationship advisor for many years let him solve you relate relationship problems- divorce mediation – marriage guidance relate to you partner – learn to talk to your partner- don’t put up with mediocre- solve your relationship difficulties

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They are many question but which is the MOST important and I am curious as to what your answers would be ,or maybe they will just give you somethig to think about at least.

Assalamu `alaykum,
This was posted once in Sunnipath by Sh. Faraz Rabbani. He got it from someone else. I ask the posters to take a look at it, and if there are questions that you think are important and are not in the list… please feel free to post them!

[LIST=1]
[*]What is your concept of marriage?
[*]Have you been married before?
[*]Are you married now?
[*]What are you expectations of marriage?
[*]What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
[*]Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
[*]Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
[*]Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
[*]What is the role of religion in your life now?
[*]Are you a spiritual person?
[*]What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
[*]What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
[*]What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
[*]Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
[*]What can you offer your spouse, spiritually?
[*]What is the role of the husband?
[*]What is the role of the wife?
[*]Do you want to practice polygamy?
[*]What is your relationship with your family?
[*]What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
[*]What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
[*]Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
[*]Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
[*]If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
[*]Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
[*]How did you get to know them?
[*]Why are they your friends?
[*]What do you like most about them?
[*]What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
[*]Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
[*]What is the level of your relationship with them now?
[*]What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
[*]What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
[*]What are the things that you do in your free time?
[*]Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
[*]What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
[*]What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
[*]Do you travel?
[*]How do you spend your vacations?
[*]How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
[*]Do you read?
[*]What do you read?
[*]After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
[*]After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
[*]How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
[*]How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
[*]Do you like to write your feelings?
[*]If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
[*]If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
[*]How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
[*]How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
[*]Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
[*]Do your friends use foul language?
[*]Does your family use foul language?
[*]How do you express anger?
[*]How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
[*]What do you do when you are angry?
[*]When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
[*]When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
[*]Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
[*]What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
[*]Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
[*]Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
[*]Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
[*]What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
[*]How do you support your own health and nutrition?
[*]What is you definition of wealth?
[*]How do you spend money?
[*]How do you save money?
[*]How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
[*]Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
[*]Do you use credit cards?
[*]Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
[*]What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
[*]What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
[*]Do you support the idea of a working wife?
[*]If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
[*]Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
[*]Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
[*]Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
[*]Do you want to have children? If not, how
[*]Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
[*]To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
[*]Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
[*]Do you believe in abortion?
[*]Do you have children now?
[*]What is your relationship with your children now?
[*]What is your relationship with their other parent?
[*]What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
[*]What is the best method(s) of raising children?
[*]What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
[*]How were you raised?
[*]How were you disciplined?
[*]Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
[*]Do you believe in public school for your children?
[*]Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
[*]Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
[*]What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
[*]Would you send your children to vis
[*]Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
[*]What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
[*]If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?[/LIST
_________________________________I did not say answer all of them lol,just the ones you feel are important or other questions that might not be up there that you think should be .
@forgotte- Well he gave me the questions lol and we BOTH answered them but not in one sitting. They are important questions, and I added more so did he. We are total soul mates so if he was to run from this he really could NOT handle marriage then lol. Love is beautiful and he is my soul mate so I do not think we have a problem lol. You might want to re-evaluate yourself though.

1.when was the last time you got angry.and what made you angry?
2.what was the hardest thing for you to follow islam and why?
3.how often do you wake up for fajar?
4.if you only had to invite only one group of people to your wedding
would it be your friends or your family and why?
5 are you a beater listener or speaker?
6.if you got into a argument with your spouse how would you settle it?
7. what role does islam play in your life?
8 when your upset how do you communicate?
9. what do you look for in a husband or wife
10 if something is brothering you how long will it take for you to bring it up?
11.what is your worse Habit